I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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