Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
