We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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