READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
