dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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