Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
