I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
