I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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