Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
