Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
