i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
