We won't sleep together?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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