It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
