you would pick up someone in the library
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
