I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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