just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
