Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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