So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
