please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
