isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
