Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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