I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
