You're a womanizer and a bitch.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
