Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i think my cat just said my name.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
