I hate all girls vehemently.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize