and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
