yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
