my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
