You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
