I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
