Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize