hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
