Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
