What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
