I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
