Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
