My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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