Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
we're making bets on your personal life
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
