I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
