idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
