I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize