11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
