summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
