it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
he just fucked me for my cheese.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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