she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
