In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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