then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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