you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
