At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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