i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
