Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
