..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
