this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
