And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
