Ketchup is God's man juice
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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