mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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