So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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