I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
