i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
