your thong is hanging out like whoa
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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