well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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