Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize