come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
