so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
